March 20, 2004
Non-Story
If you didn't catch this story, don't worry, because it's not newsworthy. John Kerry was skiing and snowboarding on Bald Mountain in Idaho and two of his agents insisted on following him down. When one of the agents collided with him, Kerry got pissed, telling a reporter "I don't fall down. That son of a bitch knocked me over." Not a big deal, just an amusing image. First, that a sixty-year-old man would snowboard (although when he was knocked down, I think he was on sticks), secondly the behind the scenes look at how any presidential candidate must guard his own image (understandably, he wanted to be solo on the slopes), and lastly how he would undermine that image by speaking that way to a reporter.
Robert Moran compares the incident to Bob Dole's stumble off the stage, legitimately, I think, noting the lack of photographic coverage compared to the former Republican candidate's spill. Of course, neither incident is a real story, but wouldn't you like to see the pictures of Kerry's serious mug blooming into rage when a black-clad Secret Service agent bumbles into him?
Update: Drudge has some pics, but none of the fall itself. Actually, Kerry doesn't look too bad in the snowboard pic. Comparing these to Bush's famous running ability, could this election boil down to issues of cardiovascular fitness? Should we decide it with a triathalon?
Another update: A quote from Dave Berry, via Snopes:
"In conclusion, I want to extend my sincere best wishes to all of my opponents, Republican and Democrat, and to state that, in the unlikely event I am not elected, I will support whoever is, even if it is Sen. John Kerry, who once came, with his entourage, into a ski-rental shop in Ketchum, Idaho, where I was waiting patiently with my family to rent snowboards, and Sen. Kerry used one of his lackeys to flagrantly barge in line ahead of us and everybody else, as if he had some urgent senatorial need for a snowboard, like there was about to be an emergency meeting, out on the slopes, of the Joint Halfpipe Committee. I say it's time for us, as a nation, to put this unpleasant incident behind us. I know that I, for one, have forgotten all about it. That is how fair and balanced I am."
Hehe... Dave Barry is funny. I wouldn't wait in line if I were a Senator, either. Power has its privileges. :)
i'd rather see a bare knuckle boxing match between the two. what do you wanna bet JK would kick GW's butt?
Well, a bare-knuckle bout would be interesting; I'm not sure who would win, but I have a guess...
Vital stats:
George W. Bush
As of August 2001: Bush runs an average of three miles, four times a week, and "also routinely cross-trains with swimming, free weights and an elliptical trainer." He reportedly runs a mile in 7 to 8 minutes. His physicians classified him in the top 2% of men his age for cardiovascular fitness. He went 26 minutes on a treadmill test (protocol unnamed), attaining a heart rate of 178 beats per minute. Bush's resting heart rate was 43 beats/minute, and his blood pressure 118/74 mmHg. His total cholesterol level was 170 mg/dl. As of November 2003 he could lift as much as 215 pounds, but due to a torn meniscus he has decreased his running, with a consequent increase in his per-mile time from 7 minutes to 9 minutes.
At his August 2001 physical, Bush was 6 feet 0 inches tall, and weighed 189.75 pounds. (Given that degree of precision in his weight, it probably represented his weight without clothes, or perhaps with a hospital gown.) At his physical the previous year, he weighed 194.5 pounds. His body fat was 14.5% in 2001, down from 19.94% the previous year.
John Kerry
(I couldn't find a complete med history, but here's what I know):
6'5" tall, (couldn't find a weight), occupation (according to Ann Coulter): stalking lonley heiresses (ha!) Favorite authors (according to Mallarme; I couldn't find this either): Shelly, Yeats...um, and someone else that I've forgotten.
Contemporize, maaaaan!
Anyway, I would be interested, in a voyeuristic way, to see real stats on Kerry outside of his noted height. Incidentally, if elected, Kerry would be the tallest pres ever, with one inch over Lincoln. (Madison, btw, was 5'4")
Kerry's got the reach, man. Lord knows I'd personally rather take on GW, mostly because then I'd be fueled by rage, and I'd be willing to fight dirty. I see Kerry playing straight Oxford rules, while Bush showboats and trips over his own droopy trunks, which would be black and gold lam'e, with "THA PREZ" across the ass.
BTW, How do you do the accents for frog words?
Generally you hold down CTRL plus the key for the accent you want, then let go and type the letter to be accented. Depends on the application you're using though. You can also use the character map program in Windows to copy/paste the right characters.