December 12, 2004
Tonight the Moon
Is a fat, gold watch
Born of mechanical irritation—
Long traffic lights,
A shirtless fool dashes
Before dark fast cars—
Tick across the turning sky
To signal. . . what?
The honeyed end of a bad day?
More likely, nothing. Wound
In the purple-stained sky,
Golden gibberish homelessness,
Implacable, unpluckable.
No, love did
Not set you going,
But ancient violence,
A cosmic pummeling
Amid silent stars
(No harmonies here).
O pock-marked and tethered stone
You are luminous as cement!
Nothing more
Yet,
You drip from the horizon like wax
And congeal overhead,
A yellow splotch urging patience.
I don't like the word "fool." Not just your usage here, but in general. It's just so fey and high-romantic.
I disagree. Fool can still be used today. I'm surprised that you would object to "fool" and not to "O" though.
well, it seems like fey and high romantic is what you're going for, which is why I objected to fool in general rather than specifically in this context.
Well, mock-Romantic, yes. :) It's pretty much impossible to use "O" in modern poetry without meaning it ironically. I still disagree about "fool" in general. Hayden Carruth uses it quite well and has an eminently contemporary voice. For an example, see this poem:
http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/poems/774.html
I don't think it's one of his best, but it's certainly characteristic.
That said, I'm guessing my disagreement stems more from the fact that I use the word in everyday conversation, so don't feel like it's outdated.