February 02, 2005
Grand Theft Auto: Myst
Salon has a parody article about a combination of Myst and Grand Theft Auto. For the most part it ranges from mildly amusing to ho-hum, but this part is great for anyone who's spent too much time playing GTA:
There's that one-of-a-kind "Grand Theft Auto" moment when you've beaten a hooker senseless with a golf club, dragged a tourist from his station wagon, and sped off down a crowded sidewalk, only to realize your sole regret is that you jacked a car with such crummy acceleration.
I do, however, have a couple of objections to this passage. First of all, you do not beat people senseless with a golf club. You crush their skulls and keep beating them as the blood stains the sidewalks. Secondly, you should always make sure to sleep with the hookers first, then once they get out of the car kill them and take all their money.
I'm afraid I've never killed a hooker and taken her money. Is that only possible in the newer versions?
My experiences with GTA are almost always 2nd-hand. I take the character someone else has spent time building up, and go on my killing rampage.